The "Accident" That Saved My Life

(DISCLAIMER: BLOGS REFLECT IBIS DEL MAR'S PERSONAL VIEWS & IDEAS SO KEEP THAT IN MIND.)

July 4, 2007. Peanut Island, Palm Beach, Florida. Exquisite climate, gregarious friends involved in light banter enjoying the beautiful day. It was one of those hot, South Florida summer days where just being near the water refreshes you and makes you grateful that you’re not on land.
Ignorantly yet blissfully unaware of life outside of my immediate realm I decided it would be entertaining to race a 75-mile-per-hour-supercharged wave runner and get that adrenaline fix I always seemed to chase. Taunting waves were ready to be conquered by an overconfident version of myself. Initially, it was incredibly fun and light. Suddenly, I began to notice that the sky had drastically darkened and the water had become choppier. You would think this would have been enough to call it a day and bring it back in but no, not this girl. I pressed the gas further and further until there was no more pushing necessary.

Then, silence. A silence so profound that even minimal thoughts seemed to switch from color to black and white. The wave runner spit my overconfident body up into the air and gravity grabbed the reigns and pushed my body with mighty force onto what I previously saw as a mere medium of fun. (At the time, I wasn’t aware but the wave runner punctured through my skin and broke a couple of my bones). My body experienced a pain unlike anything it had encountered before. Whether to weep or scream became an actual choice because my mind wasn’t capable of much. Mind you, I’ve always been kind of a daredevil so through trial and error, I’d developed a high pain tolerance.

As my friend swam over to me I could see his mouth moving but the words weren’t making very much sense. For a brief moment I lost the ability to communicate any rational thoughts. Thankfully, I’d fallen close to the shore so after using all of my upper body strength I was able to approach the shore. I laid there. Glad to be out of the water which in itself is ironic because being in the water has always been what I like to refer to as “my happy place”. (Despite anything that’s happening in my life, the ocean quiets everything down and provides me with a sense of unshakeable tranquility). Laying on that moist sand was the only thing that led me to believe the situation evolved onto the next step and soon enough the tingling sensation throughout my legs would dissipate, and more importantly, that I’d be able to communicate cohesive thoughts not consumed with utter panic.

Dark blood flooded out of my body as if it was almost trying to escape my being.

Time stood still.

Before I knew it I was being rushed into an ambulance and then to the ICU. Somehow my parents had managed to get to the hospital (which was about 1hr 15 mins away from our home) by the time I arrived in the ambulance. Due to the doctor’s concern that I had lost too much blood and my internal organs could shut down at any moment, my dad ran to the laboratory to donate blood for me. However, on his way down to the emergency room my dad ended up suffering heart palpitations and had to be hospitalized. At the time this all took place I was completely unaware but in hindsight I ask, What in the world was my mom thinking at the moment she found herself dealing with this intense situation?

You see, the funny thing about being in extremely chaotic situations like this is what you actually remember. Makes you wonder why certain events resonate over others. For example, the moment the doctor urged me to cooperate and push through the pain because their main concern was making sure my legs could operate and that my reproductive organs hadn’t been torn apart and I’d be able to still have children….Not only did my heart sink to my toes but I knew a lot could change within the hours. The simple suggestion that there was a possibility of not being able to conceive or deliver children was more than I could handle. At the moment, I found it easier to cope with the idea of not being able to walk properly than of not being able to have children (Funny how one's concerns can shift in a matter of hours!)

As I was pushed in and out of OR’s, in and out of CAT scans, one particular thought stuck out… Why did this happen? I’ve been riding wave runners my entire life (in worst weather conditions) and nothing has ever gone wrong. Why now? Is God trying to send me a message I’ve been avoiding to hear for a long time and only through an intense situation would I stop and listen?

Moreover, why did my blood count come in just above the line that allowed my organs to stay functioning properly? Why did the wave runner miss my reproductive organs by PAPER THIN? Why did the towel my friend placed on the wound to stop the bleeding create a blood clot that eventually became the reason I didn’t hemorrhage to death? Why was the Universe aligned perfectly so that I would survive an accident most people don’t? Why did EVERYTHING work out in the best-case scenarios where every statistic was against me? Why did I happen to have a close family friend be a Reiki master (alternative medicine) that loved me dearly and was happy to visit and treat me? Why did the blood clot come out 24 hours after the Reiki healing instead of in 3 months like the doctors had speculated? Why was I not only able to walk again but not be 100% dependent on my walker by the time my birthday rolled around on July 16th instead of the 3 months the doctors declared? WHY? WHY? WHY?

I’ll tell you why…

God is good. God loves me and has a bigger plan for me and my mission on this planet hadn’t been completed by July 4th 2007. (Blog to come on this topic…) Now, don’t get me wrong I don’t say this in a conceited manner but rather, with full confidence. I can HONESTLY tell you that I consider myself infinitely lucky. I am fully aware that I was nudged so that I would finally STOP and listen to what the Universe had been trying to tell me for some time. Think about it, how busy are we with our daily routines, concerns, friends, family, jobs, etc to where we forget to ask what our actual purpose for being here is? (Some of us are so jaded that ‘pondering the meaning of life and why we are here’ is simply a joke)

I, for one, was humbled. In truth, even when I could see the worry in other people’s eyes around me during the process I was always certain that I would be just fine. I can’t really give you a reason why but I just did. I knew that any news the doctors would deliver would be positive and I would be up and running in no time. With that said, I couldn’t escape the physical pain that was ailing me. At that moment I knew that the only way I could truly move forward was by using my mind to soothe everything. I knew that I wasn’t going to become another statistic. I knew I HAD to heal…emotionally and physically.

Immediately following my “against-what the doctors-projected” healing I began to ask myself intense questions regarding my purpose. Specifically, what is it that I NEED to be here for and how do I make certain I carry out this mission? After someone suffers an incident such as this it’s almost as if you create this pact with God. A pact promising to “pay him back” for his mercy and the opportunity to LIVE. I, personally, promised to give back to the community in order to somehow feel deserving of this second chance.

Now, I want to ask you…. Do you EVER take time to ask what it is that you’re supposed to accomplish during this lifetime? Or are you as self-involved as I was and completely unaware? It is my advice to you that you do not let another day pass without asking yourself this question. Do not wait until something HUGE happens to wake up and get on the right path. There really is no better day than today! Now, I ask you… What are you bringing to the table? Do you share? Do you take time to give back? If not, it doesn’t make you a bad person but rather, an unaware one.

Think about this….We are living in a time of war (where countless soldiers are sharing for US) And by sharing I mean they are putting their own lives at risk to protect us. (Whether or not you support this war I am a firm believer that we need to support our soldiers…) What are WE doing? I am not saying we all need to become the next Ghandi but it’s about elevating our consciousness and GIVING to others for the sake of giving. Not this tit-for-tat crap we constantly hear about. What is it going to take for us to give back? (Think back on 9/11 and how friendly and helpful everyone was…. Where did it go? Why did we not keep that spirit alive?) Let us NOT wait for a tragedy or anything even close to start living. Let's allow ourselves to focus our life on more than instant, personal gratification and instead, the bigger picture.

Until we meet again I wish you a lot of peace, love, and health!

Faith, Hope, & Love,
Ibis Del Mar

Currently Reading: Messages from the Masters: Tapping Into the Power of Love by Dr. Brian Weiss, M.D.
Currently Playing:

1. Buddha Bar X

2. Ziggy Marley- 'Love is My Religion'

PICTURES: From my 23rd birthday only days after accident (My friends gifted me decorations for my walker! haha). The one with my friends dancing is from the first time I was able to dance following the incident and still remains one of my favorite pictures of ALL-TIME! (I think my face says it all)