Maybe NOT Attending

(DISCLAIMER: BLOGS REFLECT IBIS DEL MAR'S PERSONAL VIEWS & IDEAS SO KEEP THAT IN MIND.)

This blog was sparked by something kind of funny that I am sure most of us can relate to… I was doing my normal online social networking routine and began to go through outstanding “Event Invites” that I’d ignored for a few weeks because half the time they are invitations from parties taking place in Gainesville (I haven’t lived there for almost 3 years now) or random South Beach events. Every few I am pleasantly surprised to see a group gathering celebrating a “Quarter Life Crisis” birthday party, a Regatta, or a charity event. Well, I decided to see how long it would take me to go through the entire page and click “Maybe” for all of these pending requests. By the time I was through with all of them it had taken me 3 minutes. Ok, now that may not seem like a lot since it’s a single digit number but go ahead, sit there and just wait for 3 minutes to pass… (long, right?!?) In this day and age, I’d be surprised if some of us don’t spend 3 minutes taking a shower. (I could totally get sidetracked here and talk about our nation’s obsession with multi-tasking, but I’ll save that one for another time) Anyway, once I finished “Maybe-ing” my invitations I closed my computer and started thinking…

So I understand that promoters get paid to have masses attend their respective events and part of their job is to send mass messages through the networks. Now, I know some may recall my face and/or name but similarly, I have a feeling they could care less if I end up attending the event. (No, I’m not suffering from low self-esteem here I’m just stating a fact) By this I’m referring to myself as a unit rather than as part of a group. Of course, any South Beach event will have more hype if “lots of pretty ladies attend” but it’s not about the women as people but rather, a package. Catch my drift? Whether it’s Jane, Susie, Ashley, or Nicole… has absolutely no relevance to the matter.

Therefore I asked myself, “Why don’t I just reject everyone’s invitations?
Why do I feel “bad” and click maybe?”

Eight out of ten times I am NOT planning on attending but I don’t commit myself to giving a “no”.

Obviously, if you know me well you’ve come to learn that I tend to dig deep and try to basically figure out human behavior (particularly mine… since I’m pretty much the only human I’m guaranteed to hang out with for the rest of life). After wondering about my failure to “reject” social invitations it dawned on me like a child on Christmas morning…. I may still like to keep that “life option” around in case of a social emergency (ICOSE). Now, what do I mean by that? It could mean a variety of things: bachelorette party, bad day, getting laid off, breakups, etc. I guess a simple way to put it would be that my South Beach life is almost like a little black book that’s stashed away just in case of….

I began to ask myself, “What exactly does this lifestyle offer?” I think those of you who fall under the “club kid” category can attest to the following…. You love looking fabulous and hanging around your fantastic, fabulous-looking friends. Generally, you prefer to go if you’re table situation is taken care of and you know there will be no waiting of any kind. You drink your cocktails while looking at the crowd surrounding feeling relieved that you have your space and don’t’ have to deal with the chaos. Whether you get annihilated or simply nurse a drink may vary depending on the night but sobriety is a rarity (whether in reference to you or your surroundings). Now, let’s fast forward to the morning after…. Your head may feel like it’s taken a hit by a baseball bat, bad decisions may have been made (this isn’t limited to promiscuous behavior so think outside of that), and the probability of you having acquired any meaningful relationships are minimal. It’s funny how certain South Beach relationships are… After a while, when you go out more than the average person you see the same people at events. It’s as if you begin to network with one another because the likelihood of running into them 5-6 nights a week is quite probable. You hardly know much about their life outside of the scene but they’re nice enough and you know they know how to have "a good time" (in quotes bc a good time can vary with each person's definition of the phrase). However, you probably rarely converse with them before 12 a.m. and couldn’t really say much about them that’s actually meaningful (I guess with facebook now everyone is a little bit of a stalker so this may be a little different now).

Which leads me to the subsequent…. What is so fascinating about being an active part of a social scene? (You can apply this social scene to what’s relevant to you: bars, greek life, sports teams, young professional groups, etc.)

It is essential that I note that many times we go out to just hang out and kick it but this blog is more or less referring to extreme behaviors or dependency on a particular lifestyle as a means to identify with something.

Anyway, I began to ask myself, “Are we able to find a sense of balance when we’re deeply submerged in these scenes? Can we see the experience as purely entertaining or do we find this life to be genuinely fulfilling and a reflection of reality?

Partly, I believe that the ability to separate ‘the scene’ with reality comes with age and some maturity. Specifically, in order to find balance. It’s easy to see how not being able to compartmentalize can lead a person to become so involved in their personal circumstances that they’re unable to see beyond their boundaries. For example, when someone will make a comment along the lines of, “What do people do when they go out if they’re not (insert personal situation here)?” We become a bit incapable of relating to one another and to a certain degree limit our view of the bigger picture…. LIFE!

Now, let’s be real here…. Of course it’s great to be a part of a “scene” but I am just wondering whether or not it would be good for us to take a step back (at least every once in a while) and look around us… What are we building? I’m a firm believer that what you build today you’ll reap tomorrow and therefore, we are truly in control of what we attract. (You may or may not agree but just open yourself up to this concept and let it marinate). Are we creating a life full of memories we’ll want to take with us or memories we’ll want to forget? You be the judge….

Until next time! May peace and love fill you every day!

Faith, Hope, & Love,
Ibis