(DISCLAIMER: BLOGS REFLECT MY PERSONAL VIEWS & IDEAS SO KEEP THAT IN MIND)
It’s difficult to pinpoint where my spiritual journey began but I’d say spirituality has fortunately permeated my home for as long as I can remember. Raised Catholic and having attended Catholic school most of my life I was exposed to all of the Catholic teachings, ceremonies, traditions, etc. I can probably write, recite, and sing the “Our Father” in more than one language after having it drilled time after time. From a young age, I never truly saw a need to have a priest be my secretary, per se, in order to talk to what I like to call the CEO of life. On the other hand, I did enjoy the basic principles taught: faith, peace, love, hope, honesty, and charity, to name a few. The church consistently pressed the importance of family and community service and for this I am eternally grateful. I guess my family and I generally fell under the “Cafeteria Catholics” but this didn’t take away from the fact that we appreciated the general teachings of the church.
A “Cafeteria Catholic” is a term generally used to refer to those worshipers that attend mass 1-3 times a year (Christmas Eve, Palm Sunday, and Easter). Granted, my family and I attended a lot more frequently but the general idea is that you are not a devout attendee. You may or may not have been confirmed, you may or may not know that you are technically supposed to go to confession every single time before you receive communion, etc, etc, etc…. (we could go on and on but that would put you to sleep).
In retrospect, I truly believe the main thing that drew me away from the church was that I became tired of being guilty of guilt. Essentially, I enjoyed giving God attention and love but I generally went to mass out of a subconscious (maybe a little conscious) guilt. I enjoyed the musical portion of the service but as soon as they were going through the readings I doze off (there’s something about repetition that didn’t sit very well with me, granted I also hadn’t been diagnosed ADHD at the time either, lol). During the main sermon, I tended to feel like I was being “scared” into behaving in a particular manner (Note: These mass moments ranged from the age of “birth” until collegiate years…with breaks in between the years where I attended non-denominational services but still attended Catholic school). Anyway, I found myself sitting there wondering what other people around me were thinking. Why where they there? Where they reeeeally listening? Did they care or were they just anxious to head out to the soccer game (I always found it comical that many people showed up in their respective team uniforms to mass. As if there was zero time to change in between the two events… ) Now, this may sound odd but the only reason I would like to get to Sunday mass early was so I could sit near the front where all of the handicapped children and their families sat. I would (time after time) be filled with an enormous amount of love just watching them be. Regardless of their circumstance, they exhibited this light. A light that would be difficult to translate into written word but when you see it, you just know (it’s like the way I feel when I make a connection to God). The way these children were so genuine in their happiness and gratitude was far beyond my scope at the time because I would see their circumstance as quite unfair. Occasionally, I would become angry because I couldn’t understand why these innocent beings were dealt that particular card (I will write a blog on my current explanation for this later on). However, their impact moved me for years to come. In hindsight, I probably could have picked up a thing or two listening to my priest but I believe I took far more from something as simple as “people watching”. (Granted, I’m sure this could have been classified as creepy by those I “watched” lol)
I am a firm believer that the Catholic church is like that child with “lots of potential”. If I could personify the church it would be someone as follows: Let’s name her (yes, her)Prudence. Beautiful girl, comes from a good family, has received top-notch education, owns a comfortable space. Every week Prudence serves the community through various charities and would be considered by her friends an honest, kind woman. The thing is…. Prudence is still dressing and acting as if he/she was living in 1932. Although there is nothing particularly wrong with such a notion, you’d be able to see how people would not be particularly interested in discussing “New Age” thoughts with her.
Although you may disagree, I firmly hold that if the church (aka Prudence) would be open to its new generation and strive to meet the needs of its people, attendance would stop declining (and who knows, even grow). However, if it remains living in ancient times, using its old tactics to “keep” its people then I do not know how many people will be attracted to it out of personal growth (not guilt, tradition, school requisites, etc).
Granted some would be angered/troubled/concerned by change, I strongly believe that once open to the idea of evolving and opening the door to more modern techniques a lot can manifest… It’s simply about being open (and I’m pretty sure JC would be happy to hear that more people are attending his staff meetings!)
There is a looooot more to all of this but I will leave it at that FOR TODAY… =)
Faith, Hope, & Love,
Ibis Del Mar
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